


Playing at Being Bogart

by KeeperofSeeds



Category: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Detectives, Gen, Movie Reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-28
Updated: 2011-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-21 20:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeeperofSeeds/pseuds/KeeperofSeeds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry decides that if he is going to stick with the detective business, he needs one of classic detective signs on the door, but convincing Perry of this is harder than he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing at Being Bogart

One evening, after finishing up the day's paperwork and letting his mind wander a bit, Harry decides he wants a sign on his office door. There wasn’t anything wrong with the office/bedroom Perry gave him but come on, he was practically Johnny Gossamer come to life, and every detective needs an awesome sign on his door. You’ve seen those old noir movies, right? Where you can see Bogart’s silhouette thru the glass? No? What are you doing sitting around staring at the computer screen then?! Get your ass to a Blockbuster and rent a Bogart movie and get some culture! And FYI, Perry’s favorite is The Maltese Falcon, but you didn’t hear that from me. Now that you’re caught up, back to business. Harry had decided he needed a window just like that with some big black letters spelling out his current occupation.  
The next day he confronts Perry with the intent of charming him so much that convincing him for that window sign with be a piece of cake. Like most of Harry’s ideas, this one didn’t go at all according to plan.  
“Come on Perry,” Harry whined, at a scowling Perry who sat behind his big fucking desk not looking at all charmed by Harry’s attempt at puppy dog eyes.  
“No chief, you do not need a new fucking door with a window just so you can play at being Bogart..”  
“Ok, fine, no window, Harry agreed, but what about the sign at least Perry? You get business cards, everybody in the state knows who you are but I’m just ‘Gay Perry’s sidekick’ or ‘that guy who gets beat up at parties,’ you know?” Sooo, I think I need to get my name out. I’m Harold the Amazing, people should know me Perry! But I don’t what that on the sign, how about ‘Harry Lockhart, Private Eye—nonono, wait: Harry Lockhart, L.A. P.I.—Harry Lockhart, Private Investiga—‘  
Perry interrupted him with a scowl “How about 'Harry Lockhart, get-the-fuck-out-of-my-office'?”


End file.
